I found myself tapping my foot to an acoustic guitar song, loving the sound of the tapping. And feeling the music along with a movie, the secret life of bees. I read the book when pregnant with June. It feels like coming full circle now, watching the movie while pregnant with little Fox. The name June made it onto our list because of this book.
The song, the movie, the guitar, the emotion, got me thinking about Miss June and how lately she is learning about emotions and displaying quite a few as well. She will tell me when someone is sad and ask me why. I recently realized that I hope she winds up having empathy for other people.
And it makes me realize just the emotional depth she is sifting through and trying to understand in her sweet, two-year-old way. I was giving her a time out last night for hitting. She had been having a fit about her poo for some reason and the mood just escalated. She ended up peeing herself in her time out and I just about crumbled into pieces. I do not mean to make it into too big of an event. She is a potty training toddler and accidents happen. But I already have issues with discipline, as can be read in my other posts. Anyway...
One of my first childhood memories is of crying and listening to the song "Sailing" by Christopher Cross. I was sitting in my parent's spinning papasan chair. It was blue and had kind of itchy fabric, a wicker frame, and I could sprawl out in it my legs not touching the ground, turning. (It looked like this.) And this song is my first memory of feeling a song and having it touch me emotionally. This memory is of when I was about three and my parents were divorcing, or about to. I am sure it was what triggered the emotions in me.
Yesterday a woman at a restaurant said that "girls will drain you emotionally; boys will tire you physically; boys are great." But you know what? I am so happy to have a girl. I don't mind the emotional wringer. I want it. I embrace it. And I want to teach my little one to be alright with her own feelings.
And I want to keep her in my pocket.
Pregnancy is making me emotional. And that is okay.