Difficult Decisions

Lately I have been almost paralyzed by choices. It seems like every decision I make, I risk losing another, different opportunity. To preserve all opportunities I say yes to everything. To too many things. I pay the price with stress and anxiety because I am not able to get everything done. And the inability to even know where to begin getting things done has developed into a nasty case of I'd rather be reading sci-fi fantasy novels. Really, I just want to escape. It is not good.

So: today I faced down some intense anxiety and forced myself to do something I didn't think I wanted to do. That I was afraid to do. Negativity struck and all I could think was that I wasn't any good at this. [Basically, this was an intense job interview with presentations and exercises to see how I multi-task.]

I called my Dad. He told me I had to do it.

I called Adam. He told me he'd still love me if I didn't do it. (I asked just that question and he said yes of course.)

And then I remembered the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that I first heard from my cousin Curtis, actually as I debated over going to a party where Adam was before we got together. And it is:
"Do one thing every day that scares you."
She also said,
"You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

And then it all came together for me. I have been drawn to the challenge of this job. Knowing it is not perhaps what I am cut out for, but attracted to it all the same. I hate being told I can't do something.

So I went for it. And I am so happy I did.


  1. Congrats on bulldozing through the anxiety and going to the interview! Sometimes the hardest part is not talking ourselves out of trying things.

  2. I love that quote so much...I have always heard it as "One must do what one is afraid of". My other favorite is "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."

  3. Thanks Ladies! It means a lot. And I got a second interview, so I'm crossing my fingers. :)

  4. My mom always said, "A coward die a thousand deaths, a brave man only one."

    Now that I'm older, I see people dying inside bit by bit, I know it's true.

    You're on the right track. The trying. I think if you have a bold journey, full of valiant effort, then the destination is unimportant.

  5. I didn't get this particular job. But that is ok. I'm glad I went through the experience of it all.


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