Three More Weeks

It's getting close now.

So close I am anxious for it to happen already.

I also feel as though I ought to record more thoughts on this pregnancy before it is over and I forget how it felt.

Well, so far, so good. With June I had anemia and did not feel this healthy. I have only barely been retaining water, while with June I could hardly bend my legs at the end, much less squat during labor.

I have had much less of a linea negra on my belly, but more melasma on my face. In fact, I only realized it was melasma recently not knowing what it was prior to that.

I get very tired of people asking me constantly everywhere I go about when the baby is coming and if it is a boy. They all know it is a boy based upon the way I carry and the old wives tale about boys sticking straight out and girls being more compact. I don't buy it for a second - everyone thought June was a boy for the same reason. But the tiresomeness of it - I just want to blend into a crowd again. Sometimes in the elevator, I want to be quiet and not smile and respond to someone's good-natured question about if it is "my first" and being pregnant during the summer.

I've only gained 30 pounds so far. This makes me very happy too.

I wish I were done working.

I wish I knew for certain if we were moving.

I wish we knew if either of us had jobs lined up for fall.

I will know all soon, likely all at once in a mindblowing shift of life and times.

It is strange to me, and difficult, that our "nest" is so uncertain right now when my instincts are to have everything just so. I get irritated when people ask me how I can stand it, and aren't I a wreck with nerves, etc. This has been coming for months now. Like one big wave, it will just wash over us and things will change. We'll come up for air afterward, ourselves, stronger and cleaner, freer, and full of love as always.