This evening June bit my shoulder. Hard. I reacted by saying OUCH and setting her down and saying June you CAN'T DO THAT. Poor little thing was so upset by it that I felt truly miserable. I know that it is important to give reprimands, but I can't help wondering if I overreacted. She is over it now, and hopefully she will learn and it will keep her from biting other kids.
We have had other bites in the past, while she was teething and nursing. She tried it a few times and didn't like my ouches then either. But this one felt different, perhaps because June has a cough and her voice is all hoarse. I don't know.
Ultimately I know I want to be the type of parent who sets boundaries and gives age appropriate reprimands. I believe this is better for the child than never being told no. But that doesn't make it any easier.
You're right.
ReplyDeleteFor one thing--I didn't let the kids physically hurt me ever. Right or wrong! Just something about that, and maybe being raised in a Southern Baptist home with the 10 Commandments....I didn't have a good theory behind it.
But you were appropriate in your reprimand, nonetheless.
Sarah used to bite my b.f. Carol's son Danny, and she was really the first kid I had that was violent and I didn't handle it well.
I underreacted to her biting another child, kind of inferring they should just "duke it out". (I think "duking it out" was mom's philosophy on kids' fights....)
Bad.
But I was gently led to reason by Carol. Or led halfway. I still tend not to intervene.
Nice job, there Mom! You are the best! And on your first kid!
Yep, that's really tough but you did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteThere was a song way back written about a guy's father....
ReplyDelete"his gentle means of sculpting souls took me years to understand".
It is hard, chipping away, because you LOVE the raw marble of June so much.
I keep feeling like we are living parallel lives somehow...Last week Emma bit her daycare provider's daughter on the shoulder. The little girl screamed, and Emma screamed and they all ended up in tears.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately I wasn't there to see it or deal with the aftermath - but I probably would have done exactly what you did - reprimanded her and then wondered if I should have. The provider didn't seem worried about it and just said "Oh she's teething" which she is. Maybe all the screaming scared her out of doing it again? I guess we'll see.
Ugh. Parenting.
You probably didn't overreact. Her crying could just be another test to see how far she can push you. I think it's the beginning a long stage of determining boundaries. Fun! Fun!
ReplyDeleteYou probably didn't overreact. Her crying could just be another test to see how far she can push you. I think it's the beginning a long stage of determining boundaries. Fun! Fun!
ReplyDeleteIt's just so hard some days isn't it? I think you did the right thing, christy put it so beautifully...Xxx
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone for the kind responses. It is so trying sometimes, and I appreciate the empathy.
ReplyDeleteHi Amy-
ReplyDeleteI had gone to google looking at an old elementary school friends tropical home & found your blog link there. Ended up looking at all the pictures & read a good many of your blog entries & followed the links to the RainForestInn & read it too! :)
You mentioned spending a couple evenings at a home in Rio Grande owned by Linda & Greg. I met Linda at Garrett Park Elementary School in Garrett Park, Maryland when we were in the 4th grade. We were good friends thru high school & after she moved to PR & moved in with her mom Barbara in 1974 we kept in touch for a few more decades. I visited her in 1980 for a month, long before she married or the villa or horse farm was realized. I married in 1982 & began having babies & by the time my kids had graduated high school, our lives had taken such different paths, we lost touch.
I went from the link on your blog to their Hacienda website & enjoyed looking at their home. They had added some more things than when I last visited it to show my folks where she was now living. Did you take any pictures while there? Until I read your comments about the place I didn't know they even had any ectra bedrooms. They must have added alot on in the past 10 years.
I really like the pictures you take. One you snapped in PR had a great shadow in it. The colors & shapes made it unique! What a lucky lady you are, nice looking hubby & beautiful baby girl. I like your blog name too "My Merry Way" sums it up very well.
My daughter, myself & 2 friends spent 7 days at Christmas in Mayaguez. It was nice, the home was roomy & we had a very relaxing holiday. Our Christmas supper was vegetable lasagna! Odd choice I know but we had a vote & nobody wanted turkey or ham. Our trip was very low key. The girls did alot of hiking & enjoyed laying in the stream beside the rental & having the water from a small waterfall splashing them.
Loved looking at the quilt you made for your mom. I wish I were more crafty! One thing I enjoy is relaxing from time to time & if my arthritis is not bothering my hands I like to crochet blankets. Also I have fun buying up pre cut animal or insect figures. I buy ribbons, paint, assorted paint brushes, crazy glue that dries clear, magnets & little eyes with moveable iris. Then I make all types of refrigerator magnets. A fav is making bunny rabbits with collars made of ribbons & cotton tails. Or the 3 bears all with red ribbon collars & big eyes! We kept those on our steel apt door :)
Do you do much baking? Like to trade recipes? I have a few favorites. I make great red potato salad, or Mexican Chicken w/sweet peppers over rice & beans if you are interested :) or after halloween we scrub & cut up the pumpkins, boil the mash it up & turn them into delicious home made pies! Have I made you hungry yet? *ha ha*
Hope you have a fun day:)
~SweetGal~
Amy-
ReplyDeleteI had posted for the 1st time before seeing your message about June biting. I am older, 52, & this method may appear too harsh for young mom's of today but I will share anyway.
When my 1st born son, Billy, was 9 months old I began caring for a friends little girl the same age. One afternoon as I was preparing their lunches they were both rolling around with some toys & at some point Billy zero'd in on Lindsay's should & chomp! Wow did he ever bite down hard. So hard they both cried & I was shocked! Immediatley I walked over to my son, unbuttoned his shirt.....started to tear up but that did not stop me....I bit his shoulder! Then Billy, Lindsay & I all cried together.
Lindsay's shoulder was a real mess & her mom took her to the doctor about it. The doctor explained that a human bite is the worst. He also shared that my biting the biter was correct.
It must have been because I never dealt with Billy biting again. What a relief that was too because it broke my heart biting my little love bug. He was born 5 weeks early due to my toxemia & gestational diabetes. I babied him till his pediatrician told me to snap out of it! :)
~Debbie~
Debbie,
ReplyDeleteYes I love trading recipes. Lately I have been making lots of things with dark green things like kale. But I always saute it.
Thanks for the compliments! Photography is such a passion and I am glad you enjoy seeing my photos. Lots of them are simple snap shots, but sometimes... there is such beauty out there.
I'm hoping June already learned on the biting thing, but I just may try your method if it didn't work. She never bites when nursing anymore, so I think she learns boundaries.
It is so nice to receive a message like this from you, and to make a small-world connection like this. Please do stay in touch.
~~ Amy