Lessons in Staying Awake, by June

June has some brilliant techniques for avoiding falling asleep. Often she uses the entire repertoire each night. Unfortunately for June, though Mom loves June's sense of humor and likes encouraging it, she's reverted to not responding to any of the techniques, so they are falling back out of favor. Hopefully this list will help her remember in future years.

(1) Kick legs into bed, hard and fast, making bed shake in process.
(2) Climb onto and straddle either Mom or Dad, then, when positioned over adult belly, declare, "bouncy bouncy bouncy" and start to bounce. Giggle a lot.
(3) Look for Mommy's panza (belly). Look for Junie's panza. Look for the button.
(4) List off every body part you know, from head to toe.
(5) Start blowing raspberries when you should be nursing. Giggle a lot. But even more important, make Mommy laugh.
(6) Snap awake suddenly at the sound of the dog barking. Say, "woof woof." Look around bewildered. Say "barking." "Doggy."
(7) See the (!@#%) cat enter the room meowing. Repeat steps of (6) but the kitty version. Cry a little when mom shoves the cat off the bed.
(8) If you can get away with it, jump on the bed. Or just attempt to stand and then drop quickly onto your butt.
(9) Pat yourself on the butt to show Mommy how you go night-night.
(10) Ask for water. Cry for water. Do the same for Daddy.

Luckily, all these techniques are for pre-sleep. June doesn't use them in the middle of the night unless she REALLY woke up. Usually she just cries out either for mommy or "miuu" and then dozes back off.