We've been doing a lot of painting around here in the evenings. Miss June loves the feel of paint on her hands, Well, at least in the beginning and then she really wants clean hands again. She could go through all the paint in one night she has such gusto about it. I've been thinking of saving her paintings for wrapping paper this Christmas.

Sometimes I feel a lot of guilt or anxiety over not being with June all day.

I think for years I have wished that I could be many different things in my life. I know I am a mother, but sometimes I wish I could be one full time.

Or an architect. Or a yoga teacher. Or a musician. Or an artist. Or an expat living in South America somewhere. Or a politician.

It never ends, the wanting to do and be.

I hope I can impart a sense of this wonder and desire to fully live life in my daughter. It rankles that I have to confine my mothering to evenings and weekends. It will have to be enough.


  1. I love that she wants clean hands again. These photos are so great. I love the one in the tub with her big eyes and the paint on her nose. So beautiful.
    I was there one evening when she was painting, and helped her wipe the paint off her hands with a washcloth. I loved when she said, "elbow," holding it toward me. I wiped her elbow and she said, "Thanks." So polite and adorable.

  2. i totally know what you mean. i miss my kids the minute i drop them off at daycare.

    i was told it gets easier... i'm still waiting for that to come.

    LOVE that picture of june with paint on her face. so cute!

  3. I don't think it does get easier, that's the heartache of being a loving parent. But just look at the creative, independent, happy and secure little being you are introducing to the world. We need as many of those as possible around here!

    Love in the moment, all the moments you have.


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